It always surprises me when I reminded that I’m already solidly in my mid-30’s. Because I don’t feel my age. Okay, maybe except in the cases of delayed onset muscle soreness after a modicum of physical exertion.

Maybe it has to do with living in a college town and my working from home setup often involves camping out in cafes frequented by students. Or maybe because I still have a very college-like lifestyle sans the classes and studying and parties. Or maybe because I still partly retain the awe and wonder of a child, so when you average it out, I end up somewhere around 28 years old.

Asians don’t raisin, and my parents have passed down some pretty good genes. But when I look more carefully in the mirror, I notice subtle etchings of crow’s feet and the slow but evident proliferation of sun spots.

And it brings to the forefront a stark recognition of how much time has already gone by.

When I was younger, I had all these creative ideas…which, without exception when told to my parents, would result in my being scolded. I would share the schemes with the belief that they would be amusing, or would at least be a fun thought-exercise.

Instead, what I received were lectures. Perhaps my parents were genuinely concerned that I would somehow grow up into a criminal mastermind.

Below are two such ideas, one from the past and one inspired by more recent events.

Disclaimer (in case this is really necessary): Obviously, these ideas are highly illegal and I am not encouraging anyone to actually implement them.

Idea 1: What if you had interchangeable license plates, controlled by a simple button on your steering wheel? Any time you’re about to run a red light, you just push the button and the license plates would swap (either sliding over or rotating). Once you’re clear of the intersection, you push the button again, and you’re back to your legally registered plates. If there were any traffic cameras, all they would record would be your faux-plates.

Idea 2: Open a repair shop that replaces automobile windshields and windows. Take late night strolls and smash two or three car windows, spacing them out at least two blocks apart. Change neighborhoods each time you go out and make sure your routes are random walks. You get your daily exercise and you drive business to your shop (well, they may not necessarily come to your shop, but it does expand the market).