Needing to post in a forum to accumulate enough points to maintain my free web hosting is starting to become a pain. The action of posting in the forums becomes a brain drain and saps any inspiration I initially had. So today, even though I’m at a negative fourteen or so in points, I decided to forgo the maintenance. I’m not exactly sure how negative I have to become before I lose the hosting service, but I’m sure I can make up the points at some later time.
Sometimes opening my spirit, which also entails the opening of my heart, touches on such raw feelings that it becomes embarrassing, especially when attempting to pray out from the depths of one’s being. Perhaps that’s why I find myself intentionally hardening my heart and closing off my being, resisting the call to enter into the Holy of Holies. But eventually, you have to get to your spirit, if not for your own sake, at least for the sake of others. Then it becomes hard to hold it back. Good things the brothers just continue on as if things were normal.